City Girls Should Not Go Camping

I was recently reminded of an event that happened not long after we moved to Ohio. I need to preface this by saying that my husband (who was raised in the country) has always calls me a “city girl.”

Not too long after we moved to Ohio we purchased a pop-up camper and decided to go camping.

Up until this time I only had one camping experience, when I went to sleep-away camp as a child. When we arrived there it was announced the “first years” duty was to clean the bathrooms. The bathrooms that were merely outhouses equipped for more than 2 people at a time. I took one look at that, called my dad to come get me.. and I never looked back.

Fast forward to the day the husband and I decided to go camping. Oh, the pop-up camper was nice enough, air conditioner, stove, fridge, pretty much all the amenities of home except for one important thing – no bathroom.

The husband said that was easily solved and we proceeded to pick out a very nice campsite in a state park, that was directly across the little path from the bathrooms. No problem, I thought. . .That’s what I get for thinking.

We had a very nice evening, settled in and went to sleep.

Well .. it happened. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom. Any woman of a “certain age” whose ever had a child will tell you, when that urge hits, it cannot be ignored.

I was going to wake up my husband to walk with me to the bathroom, but thought – its only across that path and the path is lite.. so off I went.

When I got there the lights inside, got set down, the lights were flickering bright to dim, one light was out which only added to the overall spooky effect.

I immediately thought to myself – this is how every single horror movie starts out – a woman, in the bathroom alone .. in the middle of the night.

Then I heard it. A howling. Then another howling, then another and I swore they were coming closer and closer to me.

That did it!

I cut it off in midstream and took off back to the camper, and by took off, I mean I ran! Pants half pulled up, ass cheeks flapping in the wind and giving any other campers who happened to be awake and looking – a second full moon of the night.

As I lay in the camper the rest of the night listening to every single sound of nature outside and trying desperately not to pee the bed, one thing kept going through my mind.

. . . . . . City girls should not go camping.